Working Mom

Being a working mom is hard.  I'd love to be able to stay home with my kids, but for us right now it's just not possible.  So I'm making the best of the situation.  Before I left on maternity leave I started doing some career pathing stuff with my director.  I've been looking at open positions in other departments but haven't seen much that I am either qualified for or that I'm interested in.  I love the people I work with in my department now so I'm not sure I want to leave what I'm doing.  I've just been doing the same job for 8 1/2 years and I want something different.  I want more responsibility. 

I love the flexibility I have here.  Being able to come in a little late or leave early if needed is awesome!  I also have the capability to work from home if one of the kids is sick.  Most other jobs in this field aren't as flexible so I don't think I could leave the company itself.  Plus I've earned my extra week of vacation here and the cost of benefits are awesome here (the benefits themselves are a little to be desired). 

Today I did my first solo enrollment meeting.  I was so nervous I was sick to my stomach!  It ended up only being 2 employees so it was very laid back and a good way to get my feet wet!  I've done a few training meetings with employers on our website before but never a benefits enrollment meeting.  I love that I'm being given an opportunity to do more.  Hopefully they come up with other things that I can help with that is outside the box and outside my comfort zone. 

If I'm going to be working I want to set a good example for Caitlyn and Cole.  I want them to be proud of what I do.  I want to feel like I make a difference and that my work is important.  I do feel that some days when I help resolve an issue for a member.  But other days I feel like I'm just clocking in and waiting to clock out and go cuddle the kids!  I suppose most parents feel this way. 

Hopefully soon I'll find a balance between work and home.  I'm feeling very unorganized now and like we have no structure or routine.  I felt like it took 2 years to get into a routine with just Caitlyn...hopefully it doesn't take as long with 2! 

Cole's Birth Story

We had a scheduled c-section on September 6th to welcome baby Cole into our family!  We got to the hospital at 5 AM.  The c-section was scheduled for 7 AM.  Of course I didn't sleep very well the night before...not that I had been sleeping well period the last couple months of pregnancy.  Once in the operating room they administered the spinal tap and wouldn't you know the first one didn't take.  The anaesthesiologist kept asking if I could still feel things and I could...including the catheter being put in because Dr. N was ready to go.  Not a fun feeling.  And then they had to take that spinal out and start again.  Thankfully that one took.  At 7:24 AM Cole was born!  I had a lot of nausea in the operating room but didn't actually get sick this time so I was able to pay attention to what they were doing with him and made sure Jared got a lot of good pictures.

Once back in the recovery room I started getting sick and throwing up.  That lasted all morning.  I felt like total crap.  We waited to have people come see us including Beth and Josh bringing Caitlyn up because I felt so bad.   Once I started feeling better Beth and Josh brought Caitlyn up.  She was awesome with him!  We only had family visit us the first day and then friends came to visit us on Wednesday. 

I started having headaches in the hospital once I started getting up and moving around.  Thursday morning my Dr came in to check on me.  He asked me a few questions and then asked if I had any questions.  I told him I knew there was something I had wanted to ask but couldn't remember what that was.  He then asked if I was having any headaches and I said YES!  That's what I was going to ask you about!  I was having spinal headaches, spinal fluid was leaking from a hole from the spinal tap they did for the c-section.  The headaches go away when you lay flat but when you are up and moving they flare up.  We waited all day on Thursday for the anaesthesiologist to come see us and of  course the headaches seemed better by the time he came to see me so I opted at that time to not get the blood patch to fix it.  Went home Thursday night (Jared's birthday) and the headaches came back full force.  I could barely move.  Woke up Friday morning.  Took Caitlyn to daycare and Cole to the pediatrician.  I don't know how I functioned during that appointment.  Went back to the hospital where they did a blood patch through an epidural.  The relief was instant!  I felt so much better.

Overall my birth experience with Cole was tons better than with Caitlyn.  Even with the double spinal and the headaches.  I love our little guy...he fits perfectly into our family!   

Cole's Birth Announcement

One More Week

One week from today (or possibly sooner) we'll get to meet our new little addition to our family.  We have a lot going on before then.  I decided to plan Caitlyn's birthday party prior to baby's arrival for a couple of reasons.  One I wanted her party to be all about her and not about her and the new baby.  Two I'm not sure how long it's going to take me to recuperate from the c-section.  Three I'm going to be sleep deprived with a newborn and thought it would be easier being sleep deprived from being pregnant instead!  So we're having a Disney Princess party on Saturday.  Aunt Bethy is making a castle cake...I can't wait.  Caitlyn picked having a strawberry cake.  Then after the party some people are staying to watch the first Nebraska game of the season and Beth and I are going to get pedicures...have to have one before delivery!  Then on Sunday I offered to watch Harrison so Beth and Josh can go out to dinner as a Thank You for watching Caitlyn while I'm in the hospital!  Monday is going to be a family day...just the 3 of us before it's 4 of us!  I'm thinking about taking Caitlyn to see her first movie at the dollar theater! 

Tuesday morning next week we have to be at the hospital at 5 in the morning.  C-section is scheduled for 7.  I'm getting really nervous about the c-section.  Things I've read and heard say that the 2nd one is easier to recuperate from.  That since your body isn't exhausted from laboring for 24 hours it heals more quickly.  But it's still major surgery and Caitlyn is a very active toddler who needs lots of attention. 

Caitlyn is transitioning to preschool this week.  Next Wednesday will be her first full day in the preschool room.  That's a lot changes going on in her life.  I'm a little worried...she loves going to the preschool room to visit but I don't think she full understands that starting next week she won't see Miss Ria any more.  She and Miss Ria have an awesome bond and I have a feeling when she figures out it's a permanent move that she's going to be sad about it.  Hopefully it doesn't last long.   While I'm on maternity leave she'll be going to preschool part time: Mon/Wed/Fri and staying home with us on Tues/Thurs.  I'm pretty excited about this!  Plus it saves us $50 a week in tuition!

So...lots of stuff going on.  Exciting and Terrifying all at the same time!

Baby Boy Update

Last Thursday we had a dr appt with u/s.  He was being very stubborn and had his back to us and did not turn around.  So we got no pictures (except for the one of his boy parts because my dr has a sense of humor like that).  He's measuring big already at 7 1/2 lbs.  I know the u/s can be off a little but that scares me a little bit.  If he grows a 1/2 oz a week and I go to my scheduled date he'll be about 9 lbs when he's born.  I was feeling pretty depressed about this after our appt but the good thing is he is healthy and strong!  What can I say...I grow big babies!  Caitlyn was 8 lbs 11 oz when she was born so if he's around 9 it's not that much bigger than she was.  It just seems so big.  He was also breech.  The dr said if I wasn't already scheduled for a repeat c-section he'd be talking me into right now!  His heartbeat was at 147 bpm. 

We are still working on the nursery.  I got all his clothes (Thanks Aunt Bethy) and blankets and towels and sheets and things washed.  We took down all of the wall stuff we had in there for Caitlyn and finally moved them into her room (I'll post pictures of her big girl room soon).  Jared patched up the holes in the walls so now we just need to prime and paint those spots.  Hopefully we won't have to paint the whole room! 

Now we're just counting down.  Less than 4 weeks to go til my scheduled date! 

Opposites

Who would have thought my children could be opposites...starting in the womb?  But sure enough this little boy is already so different from Caitlyn.  The pregnancy itself has been a little different at times...but not too much.  I was more nauseous during the first trimester.  I've had more growing pains and other pains not meant to be talked about on the Internet.  It's the MOVING that really sticks out.  Caitlyn could go days without me feeling her moving...except for the hiccups which I'm pretty sure she got every day.  This little boy moves ALL. THE. TIME.   He's only had the hiccups once that I've felt.  But I feel him moving several times a day and night.  Sometimes I feel like he's trying to claw his way out through my belly button.  Seriously...it's crazy!  I'm a little worried about what that means when he actually gets here.  Maybe he won't be colicky...but will he sleep?  Once Caitlyn hit 3 months she was basically sleeping through the night 75% of the time.  It was heaven!  Hoping that's one thing they have in common!  Less than 2 months until we found out and get to meet this little guy!

Pregnancy Dream

Last night I had a dream that I delivered baby boy.  McSteamy (from Grey's Anatomy) did the c-section.  Baby boy had lots of hair...with horrible highlights.  There was some strange guy in the room taking pictures.  I also had an epidural but could move my legs and walk still.  Even after the c-section I got right up and went over to the bassinet the baby was in.  Usually when I have baby dreams I can't see the baby's face...but I could see his face and all his features.  He looked a lot like Caitlyn when she was born...except for the crazy hair! 

I've been thinking of this dream all day.  I know it's still way to early to have this baby...but I'm so miserable and ready for him to be here already!  2 more months and counting down!