Mommy

This week Caitlyn called me mommy instead of mama.  And it seems to have stuck.  I kind of liked the mama and hoped she wouldn't switch.  She's been calling Jared daddy for some time now, but had kept calling me mama during that time.  But in just the last few days my mamas have become almost non-existent.  It makes me sad.  Well...happy and sad.  Because each new development that she has makes me happy and oh so proud of my sweet little girl! 

Caitlyn's 2nd birthday is coming up in less than 2 weeks...we have fun things planned and I'll be posting about her stats and milestones soon too! 

 

Wind in Her Face

Since she was itty bitty Caitlyn has loved the wind in her face.  Take her outside in the breeze and she will perk up, smile and just laugh!  The other day I rolled the windows down in the car and I hear this screech from the back seat.  It was pure happiness from Caitlyn!  On Saturday mornings I get her up and we go into our bedroom to wake up Jared.  We always have the fan going (I need this to sleep).  She was sitting there and every time the fan blew on her she would blow back.  It was so cute!  I wish I could get a picture of this happiness on her face, but it never works that way!  I'll keep trying!

Healthy Living

I've been wanting to get my act together and lose this "baby" (and lets be honest...pre-baby) weight for some time now. I've been going to the gym since February but for some reason hadn't been able to get the food part under control. The first two weeks after my surgery I was really sick. Nothing sounded good. I felt nauseous each time I tried to eat. It took the nurses and finally Dr. O awhile to figure out what was causing me to feel so sick. But I have to say looking back I'm glad I went through that. It seemed to kick start my weight loss. And since then I've really been watching my portion control. Trying to stick to 1200 calories a day (which doesn't always happen). And last night I started going to the gym again.

I have struggled with my weight since high school.  I love food.  And if it's in front of me I just keep eating.  Even if I'm full.  I often feel like something is wrong with me because I can't control the cravings.  I'm an emotional eater and it was (and still is) controlling me. 

It's also hard because Jared can basically eat whatever he wants and doesn't gain an oz.  So he likes to have his cookies & milk or ice cream before bed while watching the news.  And I can't say no to temptation.  We have had many arguments about this in the past.  He's been doing a little bit better.  He's found a cookie that he likes that I don't.  So that's all we are buying at the moment.  So no temptation for me at night before bed.  The vending machines are still a temptation at work.  It's a work in progress.  And I'm still learning that I need to portion my food at meals prior to taking it to the table at dinner or cutting it in half at a restaurant and only eating one half.  When I'm out with Bethy we share a meal so I can't be tempted to eat the other half!  Sometimes it's easy...others not so much.  But I do notice that I am full after eating just a half portion.  And it lasts just as long as if I had eaten a whole portion. 


It feels good! I'm starting to see a difference in the way my clothes fit. I'm getting compliments from people about how I look like I've lost weight. I don't "see" it when I look in the mirror or just look down at myself when I'm getting dressed. But little steps to the big picture!

Toddler Tidbits

Every day we get a sheet that says what Caitlyn did that day from daycare.  They call them Toddler Tidbits.  I just had to share todays!

"Today we popped some bubble wrap and popped some bubbles outside.  Caitlyn made breakfast for Liam in the home living area this morning.  He must of appreciated it because he gaver her a kiss.  I wish I had my camera on me."

So cute! 

Baby Making Train

I just realized I hadn't posted an update about our appt with Dr. M!  We met with her on Friday June 18th.  Let me just say first that I love her!  She is wonderful and I am so grateful that she is our Dr and the one helping us get pregnant again!  She is very confident that since we know what it takes to get us pregnant that it won't take us long this time.  We have a few tests that we have to do but she thought we should wait for at least two months after my surgery before we commence with the testing and then the procedures.  I had asked her if she thought I could put the surgery off until after we have another baby.  I really didn't want to have this surgery so I was trying to get out of it.  Even though I knew what her answer was going to be.  She didn't want to chance me getting another infection while I was pregnant.  I wouldn't be able to take the drugs I would need to fight the infection and the infection could spread to the baby.  We definitely wouldn't have wanted to take that chance.  I hadn't even thought of that possibility.  So I called Dr. O that Monday and they scheduled me for surgery that Friday.

So in September Jared and I will go in for blood draws and I'll also have a sonohysterogram done to make sure that my tubes are nice and open and ready to conceive a baby!  As long as all our test results come back normal we'll start the IUI process in October!  It's actually perfect timing because we'll be taking 2 long weekend vacations mid September and early October!  It's all falling into place very nicely!  Hopefully it keeps going this way!     

Mama's Surgery

In May I started having tailbone pain.  I thought maybe Caitlyn had bruised it while we were playing on the floor or something.  Even though I couldn't remember doing anything that would cause this pain.  By the end of May the pain was getting worse and I was starting to bleed back there.  So then I was self diagnosing myself with hemorrhoids.  On Sunday May 23rd Jared finally started googling and was convinced that something much more serious was wrong with me.  So on Monday May 24th I made an appt with a Dr. who I had never met before.  I've never really needed a family Dr. I just have my OBGYN.  So a co-worker recommended a couple of Drs. to me.  Dr. A was able to get me in that morning.  I had made the appt under the assumption that I had horrible hemorrhoids.  Turns out that wasn't the case.  She diagnosed me with a Pilonidal cyst.  She prescribed an antibiotic to get rid of the infection and she referred me to a surgeon.  I had my first appt with Dr. O on May 25th.  He finally prescribed me pain meds.  He stated it looked like the cyst was draining on it's own at the time.  I had 2 more follow up visits with him to make sure that happened completely.  If it hadn't drained on it's own I would have had to have 2 surgery's.  One to drain the cyst and then another to have it removed.  Thankfully I only had to have the one to remove it!  

I scheduled the surgery for Friday June 25th (Jared and I's Anniversary).  When I scheduled the surgery I didn't even put two and two together that is was our anniversary.  Oh well.  I just wanted to get this done and over with!    The cyst was on my lower tailbone.   The Dr. warned me that depending on how much tissue and muscle he had to take out he may not be able to close the wound.  He may have to pack the wound and we'd have to let it heal from the inside out.  This was my biggest fear.   We went in Friday morning.  The nurse was wonderful!  The IV didn't hurt and wasn't sore afterwards.  I think that's the best IV I've ever had!  Dr. O came and talked with me.  Then they wheeled me back.  The first thing I asked the nurse when I woke up was if they were able to close the wound.  Of course she didn't know.  I had to wait and ask Jared when they let him back to see me.  I couldn't believe how quickly they had me get up and walk and try to sit / lay in a regular chair.  I was so nauseous.  The nausea medicine wasn't working real well for me.  We had to stay quite a bit longer than we would have had I not been so sick. 

The car ride home was horrible.  I slept the rest of the day while Jared went to pick up Caitlyn and took care of her. 

The first week I was miserable.  I was sick to my stomach all week.  I thought it was the pain meds.  The nurse thought it was constipation.  So I started taking different laxatives.  Going to the bathroom didn't really help.  When I finally saw Dr. O on July 1st he thought it was the pain meds.  So I switched to Ibuprofen.  Much better!  I was still feeling depressed.  I couldn't go anywhere.  I was cooped up in the house.  I couldn't sit in a chair.  I could only lay in bed or on the couch.  It sucked!

I went to Beth and Josh's on July 3rd for a bbq.  I was really uncomfortable.  I laid down after dinner in Beth's bed before we left. 

I finally started feeling good enough to sit with my blow up donut on July 8th.  Beth actually got me out of the house this day too and it was wonderful! 

July 9th I started bleeding a little again.  I thought something was wrong.  Turns out this is normal.  And can keep happening for sometime.  I saw Dr. O again on July 13th.  He basically said he's my cheerleader for the next few visits.  To let me know that I am getting better even though I'm still sore.  And it probably doesn't feel like it's getting any better.  Wonderful. 

I start back to work next Monday on the 19th.  I'll do half days next week and then go back full time the next week.  I'm nervous about sitting for that long a period of time.  But it has to be done.

5 Year Anniversary

On June 25th Jared and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary.  We didn't really get to celebrate because I had surgery (which I will post about soon) that day but we recognized the time we've been together.  We actually met and started dating pretty quickly.  We were together for 4 years prior to getting married.  So we've been together for 9 years.  Some days it feels much shorter than that and others much longer!  One thing that I can say is that I love Jared more and more each day.  He provides for our family and worries endlessly about how he's going to do that on a daily basis.  He takes care of me when I'm sick and out of commission.  He takes care of me when I'm feeling down.  He's trying to support me on my weight loss journey and while I can appreciate his thoughts on this it's hard for me to listen because he's never had to go through the process.  He is an awesome daddy to Caitlyn and she loves him like no other!    He makes me laugh with his silly totally inappropriate comments.  I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone other than him.  He is my rock and he leads our family in many directions.  I look forward to the next 5 years to see where we are and how we change our growing family.